Rant about Kitschevo

To have a new and dramatic experience, it is not always necessary to travel far. Local areas also hide unexplored and unknown territories that can amaze the traveler-initiator. One such territory is known as Kitschevo located in a country widely knows as Northern Macedonia. The land of Kitschevo left a strong impression on me. At the entrance to that mysterious land, there are several grain silos that tower over this settlement like Christ the Redeemer over Rio. All two lanes along the main (and only) street are masterfully designed in the form of a straight line. On the left and, by God, on the right, there are buildings, some with four and some with five floors!

Around the ground floors of the buildings, you can see chopped firewood, which suggests that hardworking and honest people live there. There used to be traffic lights somewhere around the city bus station, but more recently that technological marvel that confused the locals was thrown out and replaced with a roundabout... which confused the locals even more.

The elderly people in the tin bus seats wore cut-up handballs on their heads. I don't know where that custom came from and whether it was a result of their local religion or some new fashion. And so one walks around that place and wonders if there is anything unusual... when there, out of sight, on a piece of track sits the main tourist attraction - a locomotive the size of a Yugo and a pair of carriages. Back in the day, when figures in fezzes brought that thing to the city - it must have made an impression on the people of Paradise that would be left by a spaceship landing today. Later, the narrow-gauge system was replaced by a wide-gauge system, during the reign of characters with five-legged heads, and the little sheep named Qiro was left without a job...

Speaking of spaceships, constant UFO activity has been observed above and around Kitschevo, which is sometimes reported by local and national media, but most such incidents remain within the framework of local folklore. It is assumed that in 1947 a spaceship really landed in the district. And that is no coincidence, after all, the term Kitschevo consists of nine letters, thee more than Roswell! And that cannot be a coincidence. Another similarity with Roswell is that in Kitschevo it was planned to film a teenage series called `Kercove High`, which was supposed to be the local counterpart of the American series that had a strange influence on the young population in the infamous nineties.

If your road ever takes you through this picturesque and not at all interesting place - stop and take a walk, give this European pearl of boredom and monotony a chance to touch your heart. You never know, Las Vegas was once just a couple of saloons, a couple of corals, a brothel and a gas station in the middle of the desert. So, Kitschevo can grow into something significant. And in that case, if you visit the place, one day you will proudly argue with your great-grandchildren - `yes, I was in Kitschevo!!!`

(Roger Mortis, 140)